Catching up to where you already are...

So, my BryBry opened the library and read me for failing to write over the past few days... My first thank you is to Bryan for reading my writing. What happened was, I decided to take some time to enjoy a couple of days with my husband, Mr. Gold. This man literally changed the course of my life (exactly) four years and six months ago and, continues to keep me in perpetual suspense and bliss each day. Mr. Gold and I have been thinking a lot, and talking (as much as we comfortably can without me breaking down and cursing the inevitable) about death. Death Becomes Her is one of the movies I would watch over and over when I was young. These two women wanted to live forever, for selfish reasons, and it was intriguing to see this ridiculous cacophony of desires to always have youth and beauty, played out in the worst possible way. No one got what they wanted, and in the end, the people who hated each other the most would be together forever. I had a discussion (in the 90s) about how the world might be, if people could live forever. My theory then was that living forever would eventually put people in a state of cooperation since there was no other option but than to exist "a juntos"...together.

Don’t judge me... I’m an optimist’s optimist. I guess if I am confronted by a glass with water in it, I might see it as an opportunity to have a drink... I have been practicing generous thinking for many years and I know it is more comfortable for me to assume the best and, if it doesn’t work out, to then have a body positive image of my ass. When thinking of death however, I don’t want to be generous in any way. Mr. Gold has pushed my thinking to a place of acceptance and appreciation of this moment, which makes the unknown a little less intimidating. I know I will not have him forever, in the simplest sense of mortality. What this has done for me is helped me to ground myself and my actions in “in the moment gratitude”. I love Mr. Gold right now, in this very moment and that is the place from which I take action. We are a ridiculous love cycle of “energy begets energy”.

Mr. Gold is my superhero human. I feel honored to have an opportunity to experience him.

Thank you for sharing your time with me. You have loved me up to my most loving self! I am ready to live a long life appreciating every moment with this person who has made me Gold. As we celebrate a great six months of amazing union, I want to say I love you so much, thank you for helping me to see myself. I am writhing this, literally this blog, because you have been nothing less than Gold for me, and because of you I am Gold.

I don’t know where to start when I begin to talk about him. My appreciation for him is directly connected to how he has helped me better