A penny for your thought(s)

So, this was my challenge. To get "online" and write something...for the next 30 days. This has been something I have been trying to do for the past 30 years and I can feel the excitement bubbling up as "nostalgia for the future" as I think about how I am going to feel on day thirty. It is my gift and my curse to plan so far ahead that I miss the now.

Sharing your thoughts is so much more expensive than that old saying implies. Surely it requires money. If not for the domain name and hosting site fees or the monthly charges for internet usage, then it will be spent on the method I have practiced for years, with the resilient and often forgotten, pen and journal. More than that, it requires an extensive savings of courage and perseverance. The act of writing something down in a little notebook, while no one is around and then putting said notebook in a "secret" place is one of sheer terror! This is me running towards my fears in a controlled environment.

This first post is for one of my kindergarten teachers from Morningside Day Care Center, in the Polo Grounds of Harlem, NY. I won't fault myself for not remembering her name; what I do remember is that she appreciated me for who I was. This woman took me out to her home and let me stay with her for the weekend. I remember watching Firestarter. The film adaptation of the Steven King story with Drew Berrymore. I remember thinking that I wanted a superpower, that if I had a superpower, I would know what to do with it. I would know the difference between right and wrong and the people who were good and bad. What sticks out to me the most about my time at my teacher's house is how much time she gave me to be with myself.

Now, I did't grow up in a particularly crowded apartment, but as a 4-5 year old I (luckily) did not spend much time alone. This was one of the first times I remember being by myself and being introspective. And, when my teacher was there, she spoke to me like a human, a smaller human, but a person with my own thoughts and desires and inner-self to get to know.

I want to say thank you for taking me to your home that weekend over 30 years ago. Thank you for spending time with me and for giving me time with myself. Because of you, I am an avid reader of Steven King and a fan of superheroes. Because of you, I have not been afraid of an adventure and I know that there are still and always have been amazing teacher-humans out there. Thank you for giving little me hope and comfort outside of my loving home, and for being a trustworthy adult. I am Gold today because of you.